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Stand Up To Bullying

Remember that scene in A Christmas Story where the evil bully Scott Fargus emerges from behind a rickety fence, filling the air with his sinister laugh? He pins another boy’s arms behind his back until the poor victim cries “uncle” and runs home in shame.

Today’s bullies aren’t quite so easy to spot. They come in a variety of forms—called “mean girls,” gossips, clique leaders and cyberbullies. These kids may not threaten physical harm, but insults and social intimidation can hurt just as much. How can we help our girls stand up to bullying?

How else? With scripture. When faced with a bullying situation, let’s teach our children to focus on three key truths—straight from God’s Word.

1. Bullies don’t define you. Only God has the right to do that. And all those hurtful comments a bully throws your way? God says they’re lies. He loves you. He created you. You are his masterpiece. So always remember who God says you are—and don’t let anybody convince you otherwise.

“But God chose you to be his people. You are royal priests. You are a holy nation. You are God’s special treasure. You are all these things so that you can give him praise. God brought you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 1:9, NIRV)

2. Retaliation is the wrong answer. You might feel tempted to fight back, but exchanging a hurt for a hurt only propels the problem. Resist the urge to stoop to the bully’s level. That means do your best to avoid getting sucked into school drama or online bickering. Instead, try being kind to the bully. Trust God to help you do it.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:19–21, NIV).

3. Pray for bullies. What? Pray for someone who hurts you? Yes, that’s what God asks us to do. Consider that a bully may be acting hurtful because she is also hurting. In which case, what she needs more than an enemy is a friend who will show her the love of Christ.


“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” (Matthew 5:43-44, NIV).

Finally, parents—make sure your kids know that if they’re being harassed by a bully, they should tell you or another trusted adult about what’s happening. Grown-ups can help defend and protect as well as give advice on how to handle the bully’s unkindness. And whenever possible, equip your child to handle the situation on her own, rather than stepping in and solving every detail. Knowing how to stand up to bullying will build your child’s confidence in herself and, more importantly, in God.

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Celebrate Freedom!

4thofJuly

As we prepare for the 4th of July and get ready to celebrate our independence – it is important to remember what true FREEDOM looks like!

13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

– Colossians 1:13-14 (NIV)

Challenge yourself this 4th of July to talk with your Faithgirl about what that looks like.

 

For FUN:
We enjoy great freedoms as American citizens – and should celebrate accordingly!

We’ve thrown some craft + recipe ideas together on a NEW Pinterest Board: A Faithgirlz 4th of July.

Pinterest-4thofJuly

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Top 10 Summer Activities for Your Tweens

Summer-Activites-for-TweensSummer is here!

This break is something your girls have been looking forward to for months. You, on the other hand, may not look forward to summer with as much excitement. The time off requires a LOT of additional prepping and planning for parents.

There are many great resources around the web outlining fun summer activities for your girls. We’ve compiled our top 10 below!

10. Get a Job
Instill values of independence, discipline, and responsibility by encouraging your tween to work this summer. Now is a great time to help out around the house, babysit, look after a neighbor’s pets, walk dogs, wash cars, open a lemonade stand, sell handmade crafts – or anything else your enterprising young girls can think of!

9. Update A Room
As our girls transition from one grade to the next, we have to accept that they are growing up! Does their room reflect their maturing taste? If not – head over to Pinterest and look for new room inspirations for your girls. Need a starting place? Check out our Redo Your Room board. If you want even more inspiration – check out our Redo Your Room book!

8. Plan Outdoor Movie Nights
Get together with neighbors and work to set up a projector, speakers and family-friendly movie. Really amp up the space with comfy seating, string lights and popcorn! Click for more creative ways to dress up the space!

outdoor movie

7. Volunteer
What causes are important to your family? Reach out to organizations in your area to inquire about opportunities for your girls to serve. Animal shelters and food banks often have tasks for younger volunteers. Through their service, your girls will learn valuable lessons of sacrifice, humility and caring for others.

6. Host a Board Game Tourny
Help your faithgirlz plan a fun-filled day at home. (This is a great option if there are a lot of rainy days in the forecast.) If you don’t have a huge collection of board games, ask friends to bring over one or two of their favorites. Be sure everyone knows the rules for each game and then roll the dice or pick a card to see who gets to select the first game.  For bonus points: If your girls are especially creative – encourage them to create their own game!

Game Pieces

5. Be a Tourist in Your Own Town
What is one thing you’ve always wanted to see in your area? Plan a quick day trip or outing to visit a unique landmark, attraction or eatery. Take this idea to the next level by dressing up as tacky tourists! Fanny packs required.

4. Pick a Book to Read Together – and take time to talk about it!
We are BIG advocates of summer reading… and so is our spokesperson Natalie Grant! Together, we’ve developed a great list of Faithgirlz! titles to recommend for your tween. We encourage you to pick one or two to read with your girls. These books are great conversation starters and can lead to some incredible chats about faith. Read up on Natalie’s summer reading suggestions here!

natalie-grant-faithgirlz-summer-reading

3. Create and Bury a Time Capsule
Identify special mementos that will help your faithgirl remember 2015. Include items to represent her best friend, secret crush (if she has one!) and her favorite Bible verse, class, band, song, sport to play, sport to watch, book, movie, actor and actress! Did you take a trip this year? Include a souvenir or ticket to remember a special family vacation or outing. Have fun with it – and only peek if she says it is okay!

2. Set Up Camp
Love the outdoors? Take an afternoon to create a campsite in your backyard. Grab some sleeping bags and enjoy a night out under the stars! Don’t have a tent? No worries! Get creative with blankets and sheets to make a colorful retreat. The benefits of camping at home? You have quick access to certain amenities (like a bathroom & kitchen) if you aren’t ready for the complete experience. Still seem like a stretch? If your girls aren’t the outdoorsy type – like mine – create a camp of sorts inside!

sheet-tent

1. Get Moving
Get your girls off the couch! Summer is a great time to try new activities. Gather all the necessary safety gear and encourage your faithgirlz to meet their friends for a bike ride, test out their roller blades, take a swim, paddle board or canoe on a nearby lake… anything to stay active (and tear them away from spending all summer on the computer or binge watching TV shows on Netflix). Just be sure to set parameters on where they can go, when to be back and who they can go with, etc. Use these ideas to give your girls a memorable, safe and FUN summer!

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Prayers for Your Daughter

As the school year wraps, we find ourselves thinking about what’s next…

What will the summer look like? What new or challenging things are in store for my daughter next year? Will she continue to be surrounded by good friends?  How is she growing up so fast? Oh… my goodness… will she start dating soon?

As the unknowns pile up, we often find ourselves grasping for control. I love this quote from Lysa TerKeurst.

Whether  we are excited, anxious or terrified about the growth of our girls, we have to remember that God has an amazing plan for their lives.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
– Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I was given great advice last week – and I want to share it with you. When you’re wrestling with any matter, imagine you’re having the conversation with a friend. If you heard your story from their mouth, what advice would you share?

  • Turn to the Lord
  • Pray, pray, pray
  • Practice patience

I know! It is so much easier to give this advice than to take it!
To best equip our girls (and restore our sanity), we have to take our questions, concerns and celebrations to God. Pray for your girls each and every day and see how God shows up in your lives.

Need an outline? We’ve compiled a list of resources to help pray for your daughter on our Pinterest page.

Faithgirlz-Pinterest

 

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Your Story is Incredible

your-incredible-storyBy Jennifer Ebenhack

Do you ever envy someone else’s story?
That girl in your book? Your best friend? Some famous movie star or singer?

It’s something moms and daughters have in common: we often compare our lives to others and believe our own story is less important… boring… hard… maybe even downright painful.

But girls, I want you to know how incredible your story is. There are two good reasons for you not to get hung up on someone else’s story:

  • God has a purpose for you, and
  • He’s working everything out for good.

So, first of all, know this… the God who paints the sunsets formed you.

He knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). Your quirks, looks, and interests delight Him! The desires of your heart have been planted there by Him. Your talents and passions come from His design!

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

When I was young, I dreamed of serving God in another country. I loved stories of adventurous women like Amy Carmichael, who rescued children from slavery in India.

And guess what… God allowed me to live out a similar dream in the country of Haiti. My husband and I not only helped children without families, but also got to adopt three amazing kids of our own.He used the desires of my heart to do something meaningful. And He’s going to do that in your life too.

Secondly, God is working through all the hard stuff in order to accomplish the good stuff.

Sometimes we look at someone else’s story and are fooled into thinking theirs is full of “awesome” while ours is full of “hard.”

The truth is, we all have the hard. We all have pain and problems. We’re all afraid we’re just not enough.

If all I told you about my life was that God helped my dreams come true, you’d get a glimpse of the “awesome.” But there was a lot of frustration and difficulty in there too.

It took us nine whole YEARS to adopt our kids! And let me tell you, those years in Haiti were hot (no air-conditioning)!
The worst part was that even though our kids lived with us in Haiti, they couldn’t ever leave the country with my husband and me to visit our family and friends in the U.S. The paperwork was completely stuck. Sometimes our problems made me angry. And sometimes — like when thieves broke in — I was full of fear.

JenniferEbenhack-Family

 

But God taught me so much there — especially how to trust Him when things don’t make sense. And even though I doubted Him sometimes, He hadn’t forgotten about me.

A big earthquake hit Haiti in 2010, and there were so many problems, we were sure our adoptions would never be completed. But in the middle of that tragic event, God did the most unexpected thing… About one week after the earthquake hit, our kids and hundreds of other Haitian kids were allowed to join their American families in the U.S.! Our prayers were finally answered.

Where’s your story right now? Boring? Hang on… it will change! Hard? Keep trusting Jesus! In Romans 8:28, He promises to work all things (even the bad things) for the good of those who love Him.

Wherever you are, remember God sees you, loves you, and is writing an incredible one-of-a-kind story through your life.

  1. Don’t be jealous of the others. Be a girl of faith!
  2. Trust Him. Love Him. Follow Him.
  3. There’s no telling how He’s going to use you!

About Jennifer Ebenhack

JenniferEbenhackHi! I’m Jennifer, and I’m delighted to meet you here! I’m a homeschooling mom of five, a life coach, and a writer, thankful to enjoy all those things in the sunshine of South Florida. I love to laugh, listen, and share encouragement with anyone going through a hard time. You can me at JenniferEbenhack.com, my Facebook page, Google+, Pinterest, or Twitter. For encouragement in mothering, check out a couple popular articles here and here. Also, I’d love to bless you with a gift! Click here for instructions to receive a free copy of my ebook: Take Courage: Choosing faith on my journey of fear. 

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A Look at Redo Your Room

Faithgirlz Redo Your Room

 

Have you heard about our latest release?! Redo Your Room is a great DIY book we developed with Girls Life Magazine. Whether you’re looking for an all-out room redo or a few new tricks to brighten up your space, Faithgirlz has tons easy how-tos that’ll morph your room into a true expression of y-o-u. Give your walls a burst of color (even without a bucket of paint!)  and turn your fave pics and keepsakes into inspiring art.

These floor-to-ceiling secrets help nix those piles of clothes decorating your space in favor of awesome add-ons, like mini murals and a magical ribbon chandelier (psst: we won’t tell anyone it took you a half hour to whip up).

We’ve already heard some great feedback about this book and are so thankful for the positive reviews. The YA Gal shared her thoughts:

Redo Your Room: 50 Bedroom DIYs You Can Do in a Weekend is a how-to book for jazzing up a tween girl’s bedroom. It’s full of bright pictures, easy projects, and good advice. At only 5 and a half years old, my daughter is not the target age for Redo Your Room, yet she was enthralled by the photography and studied every picture closely. We will definitely be holding onto this book for the future.

For me as a mom, what I really liked was that the projects were doable and not too expensive. One trip to the craft store and $100 later, you’d probably have everything you need to do at least five projects. I hate decorating books that build unrealistic expectations. Redo Your Room is not one of them. (Btw, this book would be a really cool present grandmas could give combined with a generous gift card to Michael’s.)

Ideally, *ahem*, I would have loved to see an entire chapter devoted to the art of cleaning your room and keeping it that way. But that’s the mother in me talking, not the twelve-year-old girl!

purchase-the-book

If you want a little inspiration – check out some FUN projects from Girls Life Magazine on our Pinterest Board!

 

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Breaking the Worry Habit: 10 Things You Can Do To Get a Grip and Trust God More – Part 1

By Faithgirlz Author, Allia Zobel Nolan 

Faithgirlz-10TIPS-WORRY
I admit it.  I’m a worrywart. I’ve been one all my life. In fact, worrying IS my life. And recent world events haven’t helped matters.   You name it; I worry about it. I’m anxious over terrorism, hurricanes, global warming, meteorites, bridge collapses, falling elevators, Ebola, lightning, and eclipses. Of course, I also worry about deer ticks, ingrown toenails, my cats leaving me, and that investigators will someday discover the amount of calories in a one-hundred calorie yogurt is actually 350.  I’m anxious for family, friends, relatives—all of mankind—even strangers. I fret about the past, the present, the pluperfect.  And that’s just a drop in my sea of jitters.

So where is God while I’m wringing my hands?  Probably in his office, with a “Don’t worry. Be happy” sign on his desk.  I can see Him now, sitting there, shaking His head, thinking: 

Where’s her trust? Doesn’t she realize I’m in charge?  Doesn’t she know all the worrying in the world—even by a professional like her—is moot? Haven’t I told her over and over (365 times in the Bible to be precise) “Do not be afraid”?  Didn’t my Son explain about the lilies, the birds of the field, the rock and the bread, the snake and the fish? What gives?  What do I have to do to make her understand?

Okay, so I know I shouldn’t worry. But I do. I’m still a work-in-progress. But I’ve done some research and even written a book about it. Here are a few tips to help manage all the worry.

1. Let There Be No Crisis before its Time
Don’t worry about something that will take place in a week, a day, or even an hour. The variables will be different then than they are today. If you have to make a decision on Friday, wait until Friday, and see what the day brings. Remember, Jesus said, “…do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” (Matthew 6:34)

2. Don’t Let Possessions Possess You
When you let material things rule you, you give them power.  For example, if you can’t find your favorite earrings, don’t let that spoil your day. You can buy another pair, but you can’t get back another day. Jesus reminds us “… do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” (Matthew 6:25)

3. Set Worry Limits
If you feel yourself falling into the worry trap, but find it hard to control, do the next best thing: establish limits.  Set a timer or a phone alarm for 15 minutes. Tell yourself: “I feel the need to think about this (my split ends; my lack of Facebook friends; the bully in PE, whatever).  But I’ll only do it for 15 minutes.” When the time is up, the alarm will be a tangible reminder to let the worry go. Schedule this time when you have something important to do immediately afterwards (like meeting your BFF to go shopping, or doing an errand for your mom).  This way, you’ll have to drop worry and refocus fast.   

4. Stay Grounded in the Present
Imagine: You’re at the movies and a worrisome thought crosses your mind.   Oh my goodness, I was supposed to meet Ginger today after lab to give her the notes she wanted. I, like, totally forgot. She’s going to hate me. That thought leads to another: Maybe I can text her now and tell her I can bring the notes to her house tomorrow. In the meantime, you’ve missed half the movie. Quash worrying thoughts such as these with some questions:  

  • Can this wait?
  • Do I have to stop what I’m doing and fix this immediately?
  • Can I solve this problem right now, right this minute?”

If the answer is “No,” then stay in the present moment and make a note to “fix” the problem later.

5. Keep a Worry Journal
journalingJot down what you are worried about, the date, and how much time you spend on the worry-go-round.  For example, “I’m joining my church’s teen choir on Wednesday. What if the others think I’m a dork? What if my voice cracks?  I spent all day, on and off, worrying about this. May 10, 2015.”   Then, the following Wednesday, when you return from choir after having an awesome time, you’ll realize your fears were all in your head.  

Do this with all your anxieties and you’ll see how many of the things you worried about actually happened, and how many didn’t.  Referring to this journal often will show you how much time you waste worrying needlessly.

Start working on your worries by trying out some of the tips above. Check back next week for more advice on eliminating worry from Faithgirlz Author Allia Zobel Nolan.  Zobel Nolan is the author of Whatever:  Livin’ the True, Noble, Totally Excellent Life, The Worrywart’s Prayer Book, Angels in the Bible Storybook, a contributing author of The Beauty of Believing: 365 Devotions that Will Change Your Life, and over 170 other titles . Visit her at www.AlliaWrites.com.

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Easter with Your Faithgirlz

Easter Blog

Easter is only a few days away!

If your household is at all similar to ours, we often struggle to think up a few last-minute crafts, decorations and recipes to make the day special and help impart the significance of this Holy Week to our kids. To assist in your scramble (Easter… eggs… scramble… get it?!), we’ve put together the list below to help get your creative juices flowing!

Enjoy this time with your family and develop traditions for years to come.

CRAFTS

RECIPES

TRADITIONS (New takes on old favorites)

More on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zkidzfaithgirlz/easter-creations/

Easter-Pinterest

MATTHEW 28

1 After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.

2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7 Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”

8 So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9 Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

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Time Travel to Your Teens

time-travelIt’s easy to forget what it was like to be a girl, but maybe the best way to open the lines of communication with your daughter is to be 13 again.

Yes, God likes you to be in the present…

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
– Corinthians 5:17)

A temporary time-trip into your past could be a divine gift. How so?
It might help you better relate to your daughter by opening up meaningful topics of convo.

Challenge: 

Share a Most Embarrassing Moment
Whether you tripped onstage during a recital or passed gas in a fancy restaurant, your little girl will get a good chuckle when you tell her of the slip-up that stained your cheeks candy-apple red. She’ll get that you, too, were once a “real girl” and—who knows?—she might even feel inclined to share her most cringe-worthy moment ever.

Tell Her About Your First Crush
If it’s in your comfort zone, you might even talk about your first kiss. Don’t force the conversation, just let it flow, perhaps bringing it up during a particularly sweet movie scene you’re watching together. If she won’t tell you about her school crush, that’s OK—respect her privacy. But just about any girl is willing to talk about her celebrity crush!

Break Out the Old Yearbook
Pull the high-school or middle-school yearbook from the closet shelf, and dust it off. Show your daughter what your class picture looked like (too much hairspray and a retainer-lined grin?). Flip through to show her the clubs and sports you were active in, and have fun reminiscing while you read what your school friends signed in your book.

While you’re clearing the cobwebs, show her some of your other teenage memorabilia—athletic trophies, ticket stubs, and more.

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